Dear Tom, Talk About Arrested Development!

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Newsflash! There is no such thing as intellectual safety. And if there is, God help us!

The nearly identical twin notions of triggering and safe spaces encourage a protracted, if not a permanent, state of adolescence.

Wow. Really impacts the educational system and, frankly, the intellect. How are children supposed to learn anything if discussion of topics deemed unsafe is eliminated? Let’s face it, every topic is unsafe to someone somewhere. I mean, like, some people are terrified of butterflies or ladybugs.

You know what it is? It’s manipulative. It’s manipulative adolescent behavior. And we adults are knuckling under. How did we come to this? What is wrong with us?

Is this what parents want? To raise adults who are perpetual adolescents? My primary goal as a parent has been to raise conscious adults as opposed to tantrum throwing toddlers. It is not easy. It requires great strength and determination, discipline, and the ability to say “no” in no uncertain terms. Being a parent is the hardest job I’ve ever done. Most parents are trying, but boy, are we up against a whole lot of societal pressure to give in to this crap.

Anything with which I don’t agree upsets me, therefore anything with which I disagree is wrong and must be suppressed, by any means necessary. Um… I’m sorta flashing on Pol Pot and his genocidal safe spaces (killing fields) right about now.

Oh Tom. You would not be happy about this.

XOXO. Julia

22 thoughts on “Dear Tom, Talk About Arrested Development!”

    1. juliabarrett Post author

      No shit, Anny. And to think, we taught our kids to think– even if they screwed up we taught them to think! What on earth are parents and teachers teaching kids now? Makes me wanna puke.

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  2. Diana Stevan

    Julia, I feel like I missed something here. What are you referring to? Something in the American news re: education? Or advice for parents?

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    1. juliabarrett Post author

      Yes, Diana. Temper tantrums on campuses across the country. Speakers uninvited because they have opinions isolated groups of students don’t like. Segregated ‘safe spaces’. The closing of the American mind.

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    2. juliabarrett Post author

      Diana – A parent can’t even discipline a child without the child crying trigger or unsafe. Discipline is supposed to make kids uncomfortable! That’s the point – to think about one’s behavior.

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  3. Roberta

    Awwwww!!! The poor little snowflalkes. Can’t stand the heat???????
    And by snowflakes I do not mean The Nutcracker.
    Where is Joan Rivers when we need her? OH GROW UP SNOWFLAKES!!!!!! And that means the adults who indulge these babies.
    I can’t believe this….and adults give into these babies.
    Too anny – I agree about parents showing up for job interviews. DUH!!!!!
    Sadly Pol Pot on steriods.

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    1. juliabarrett Post author

      I can’t believe it either, Roberta. Someone needs to be an adult. I’m appalled at the behavior of teenage mutant justice warriors.

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  7. Jaye

    It’s an unpleasant phase, I fear, Julia. The parents of the Baby Boomers, traumatized by war and the Great Depression, were determined their children would not suffer deprivation. So rose a culture of money-making and consumerism. The Baby Boomers, traumatized by grim, determined, distant parenting, but fat with material success, were determined their children would not suffer the traumas of their (the BB’s) childhood traumas, namely to their psyches, and so rose a culture of navel gazing and pop-psych. At the same time, consumer-culture, seeing children as natural targets, created the idea that childhood is wonderful and should be filled with toys and television and sugary cereals. Eventually that became BEING a child is wonderful, and growing up was undesirable and adulthood was for suckers and aging is shameful. Of course, to children, FEELINGS trump everything else and demanding instant gratification falls into the camp of right and natural. And so it goes. Eventually we’ll suffer an asteroid or depression or war or collapse, then the cycle will start all over again.

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    1. juliabarrett Post author

      Well Jaye, that ain’t my kids. But then I made sure it wouldn’t be my kids! I’m a strict mom. (One kid did push the limits! But she’s now the toughest of all. She will govern her kids with an iron fist– when she has them.) My philosophy has always been this – kids need to fall down and get up by themselves. Make mistakes, figure out how not to repeat them. However, ICAM. Hate this. Hope this infants don’t have infants.

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  8. Marylin Warner

    Julia, this should be printed in both parent and education publications. It would shake a lot of cages and elicit some arguments, but at least it would get people talking…and thinking. What I’ve seen about college campuses recently–how upset (to the point of needing counseling) students were when others disagreed with them about attitudes, candidates, grading criteria, etc. It went on and on. And when they have huge college debts but can’t get the jobs or pay they demand, they’ll continue to blame the world.
    Excellent post!

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    1. juliabarrett Post author

      Marylin, I would so much like to be the parent all these kids lack. If my kid behaved like this his or her butt would be home so fast his or her head would spin.

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  9. Alicia Butcher Ehrhardt

    If they take responsibility when they screw up, you’ve mastered parenting.

    There is nothing quite as infuriating as children blaming everyone except themselves for things they clearly did wrong (after maybe the age of 2, of course – little ones who haven’t touched the cookies but sport chocolate chip mustaches are darling at that age).

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