Dear Tom, I don’t see the point…

2015 has been exhausting, both for me, personally, and for our nation and our world. I’m plumb tuckered out.

I’m tired of blogging – an exercise which I suspect means little these days.

I’m tired of the publishing wars. Legacy publishing versus indie publishing versus far too many authors I know who are now poor as church mice, homeless even- authors who once upon a time, as in three or four years ago, made bundles of money.

Now me, I’ve never made bundles so I’ve never spent bundles. As they say– don’t give up the day job. Oh, a couple years ago, 2010-1013, the world was a much different (and more hopeful) place. I made a bunch. I sold lots of books. The life of writing was good and I felt inspired to write more and more and more.

These days, not so much. In fact, I find myself less and less interested in engaging the market, i.e., readers, and I have little interest in promotion. To be honest, I find it hard to muster the energy. Attempts to engage, attempts to promote, don’t sell books anyway. So engagement, just like blogging, is another exercise in futility.

But what about that pot of gold, you ask? What about that lightening strike? The newly discovered land? Well, I ain’t holding my breath. Never have.

You know, I’ve read those books – the strike it rich quick books – those books that have caught fire, those six-figure signings, and except for the very first book in the Hunger Games series, those six-figure books bored me to tears. Whatever it was about those books that caught fire did not ignite the fires within me. Couldn’t even make it through the first five pages of a couple of them.

BORING…

More and more I find myself buying nonfiction and re-reading my old favorites in the fiction genre.

But do I plan to quit altogether? Quit writing? Huh. Good question. Maybe. I’m working on a short story as we speak. I have a re-release scheduled for February or March. I have a number of books in the queue. Maybe I’ll finish them, maybe I won’t.

Regardless, I am convinced I’ll be appreciated after I’m dead. My stuff is good. Someday someone will realize it.

In the meantime:

I’m busy with family and friends. I’m traveling. I’ve got bushels and bushels of lemons to juice for lemon curd. I have to figure out how to halter break my steer, Hank. All in all, while my appreciation and affection for the beauty in life continues to grow, my attachment to the publishing world diminishes.

And I’m okay with that.

I miss you. 2015 was a sucky year for you and your family. They lost you. I lost you, my dear dear friend.

I look forward to 2016. The number fifteen has always bothered me in any case. I think it’s a bad luck number. 2015 has been proof of that for so many people.

Anyway, I’m tired– was up the entire night with a sick dog. No, not a kid although I did have a couple kids home– a sick dog. When I say the entire night I mean exactly that, the entire night. Oscar slept through the whole thing. But then that’s typical for Oscar. He sleeps the sleep of the dead. I wake if a neighbor three doors down drops a pin. Onto plush carpet.

The best blog around? The one worth reading? Marylin’s – Things I Want to Tell My Mother. Her recent post is frame-worthy: The Gift of Words. Go read it, you’ll love it.

All right, Tom, maybe I’ll re-watch the genius Big Bang episode (The Opening Night Excitation) and go to bed!

I love you, Tom. Here’s to the approaching New Year.

XOXO! Julia

 

 

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19 thoughts on “Dear Tom, I don’t see the point…

  1. Alicia Butcher Ehrhardt

    2015 has been good to me in some ways, not so good in others, but I’ll take it – publishing myself is a milestone no matter what else happens (like not selling very many of it yet).

    Any year that I get to live is fine with me; they’ll be gone soon enough, but while I’m here I can make the efforts.

    I’m glad Jake is better – poor puppy.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. juliabarrett Post author

      Well, I guess you can say it’s been a mixed year, Alicia, for sure. Things could always be worse! Perhaps challenging is a better word to describe 2015. Good luck with your book(s)!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  2. anny cook

    Awww. Give Jake hugs for me. Writing…well, as you know I took a sabbatical from all that for two or three years. Did other stuff. Struggled through medical crap. Struggled through family crap. Things are leveling out, now. In November I finished two books I’d parked on the back burner a few years ago. I suspect publishing will NEVER be what it was. I don’t really care. I’ll write as I get the urge and hopefully publish them for the ones who are interested in reading them. And then there’s all that other ‘stuff’ I’ll do. Never gonna put my entire life in the writing basket again. Miss you, dear. Hope the next year is wonderful for you!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. juliabarrett Post author

      I know you did, Anny. And I missed you! I’ve never put all my eggs in that basket, but it doesn’t really matter. The basket is overflowing these days. Hard to find good stuff to read. I’m happy you’re writing again. Nobody writes laugh out loud fantasy romance like you!

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      1. juliabarrett Post author

        Thanks, Anny! Yours too! I don’t check this site often and this is how I link to your blog. Until you get a subscribe function, that is… hint hint.

        Like

    1. juliabarrett Post author

      I did, Ray! I actually did! Slept in my daughter’s room so Oscar was forced to be responsible for the dog! He did it. Amazing.

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      Reply
  3. Jaye

    Aww, never heard you so down in the dumps, m’dear. Maybe it is the stars or unlucky 15, but more like a lack of proper self-care. Hang in there. The cycle is due to come back around for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. juliabarrett Post author

      Well, down for some reasons, up for others, Jaye. 🙂 The publishing world is a big downer for me these days – the truth? There is a big old bunch of crap out there and I’m sick and tired of competing with it. Plus remember when I tore my knee almost 2 years ago? It’s trashed. I need surgery again. Ah well…

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  4. Marylin Warner

    Julia, when you and Tom joined forces as friends, writers, advocates, and very nearly shared souls, the two of you lit a candle of laughter and hope. Now, missing him, you are missing so many peripheral things, too. And at this time of year…well, we both know how that can be. Thank you for your kind words about my blog; you and Tom wrote such thoughtful and sweet things to and about my mom, and I’ve read many of those comments aloud to her. 🙂
    Take care but hang tight, dear Julia. This, too, shall pass: the writing, the knee, the down days. They will pass. Truly.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. juliabarrett Post author

      Thank you, Marylin. Tom’s friendship meant a great deal to me. Somehow we were soulmates, as in, I know we were best friends in a past life. If I miss him, I can just imagine how much his family is missing him this holiday season. I will always remember him tweeting from his hospital bed the day before he died. Such a courageous man!
      All things pass. But this is also the season for reevaluation. I’m reevaluating! And off to Montana for some Christmas cheer! Merry Christmas to you and yours, Marylin! Give your mom a kiss for me.

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  5. Roberta

    Sorry am just reading this. I was out of town for the holidays and now that I am home again
    cannot get myself in gear enough to read blogs. I go back to work tomorrow, so am getting a bit more organized again.
    I think we all have times like you are/were going through. I have decided there is nothing for it….but just to let time work its magic.
    Hope you had a blessed Christmas and that time will get you through.
    *Long big hug*

    Liked by 1 person

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